Reviewed 12 October 2010
There are not many sites around that can boast a ten year archive, but that’s exactly
what you get at this unbelievably huge site. Big is not necessarily better if the
content is not up to scratch but rest assured the material here is as good as it
gets and undeniably SimonScans.com is a must join - I’d go as far as to say its got
legendary status - it’s a perfectly executed, incredible gateway from start to finish.
Statistically it reads like an overly inflated bankers bonus: 487,306+ images, 500+
videos and 700+ gorgeous amateur/pro models. It goes without saying there is definitely
something for everyone here with a wide variety of chicks in the 18-30 age bracket:
blondes, brunettes, redheads, big boobs, small boobs, shaven and hairy minges, plus
everything else in between - these girls aren’t shy either so be prepared for some
hard ass fun.
Logging in for the first time you will be taken directly to the updates page. Here
you will be greeted like some long lost pervy friend. The monthly schedule displays
super crisp thumbnails and unceremoniously raises your knob to attention in seconds.
No teasing, no bullshit, you get meaty piss flaps in your face instantaneously. Pink
is obviously Simon’s favourite colour and it shows as these delectable honeys open
up their love holes wide enough to take a bloody great big fist for the best possible
view of their inner sanctum (err… that’s a cunt to you and me).
The entire archive is listed to the left, so if you fancy going back in time simply
select the appropriate year and month. I love photo galleries and was pleased to
see things laid out in old skool grid format where full size images pop up in a new
window. There is a fancier image viewer which once selected conjures up size reduced
photos like fucking magic. Each and every set, of which there are 4,400+, are available
to download in handy zip files (expect 100+ images per set, some a lot more). Forget
high resolution, the latest images are ultra high resolution 2000x3000 pixel lovelies,
but even the old stuff is cracking!
Movie content takes the form of three distinct formats which can be either downloaded
directly (full length 10 minutes or so) or streamed online (Flash). Choose between
WMV (1280x720), MOV (1280x720) or MPEG (640x360), the latter ideally suited to a
portable device for all you mobile wankers out there. Quality is what I expected
to be honest - the latest material fantastic the earliest less so but that is to
As previously mentioned SimonScans.com has been online since October 2000 and joins
an exclusive and select group of adult sites that have adapted and survived through
the ages. That is a testament to the top notch quality and how these guys work -
listening to what their members have to say has certainly moulded this site into
what it is today. This is all about the girls and watching them do what we enjoy
most - masturbating and fingering their tight little arseholes.
Talking of which action is a super duper mix of solo and lesbian - this is a no cock
zone barring the latex/plastic variety which get stuffed up their swollen twats at
every opportunity. Watch as these sweet looking girl next door types get naked and
finger their clits into orgasmic orbit - no fakery, guaranteed! Its 100% believable
and the moans are real. What a fucking great site!
Okay, lets talk money. I’m not going to pull your plonker, I will come straight out
and say don’t bother with a 30 day join - one month is nowhere near the time you’d
need to adequately raid and appreciate this sexy archive. So I have two special prices
for you, 3 months at $49 or a whole year for just $99. You will thank me once you
have joined and you’ll save a fortune too. What with 720p HD content, thousands of
sharp pictures and daily updates its a complete no brainer.
Happy 10th Birthday Simon, here’s to another decade of unrivalled excellence!