Reviewed 29 December 2009
Just so you know, the P-FAP (pornmeister from across the pond) did not order me to
review a Euro site. I'm an American and we Yanks do as we damn well please! Well,
most of the time anyway lol... and besides, even though I'm red, white and blue through
and through, I always love watching Euro sluts at play. Especially the Eastern European
honies from Prague, Czech Republic as featured at EuroHumpers.com. Okay, so the weather
isn't the greatest in some of the scenes, (overcast gray vs. eternal porno sunshine
we're used to) but hey, it's Europe, not Cali! Anyway, to find out more about this
site, check out the Home page, with trailers, pics and a tour. The gimmick here is
that these are two American guys who left the US in pursuit of education but decided
to shoot porn instead. Wow, a stroke of genius, eh? Lucky guys, they have access
to a huge (and very hungry) pool of ultra slutty Euro hotties on every corner that
aren't as uptight about sexual stuff as the college coeds back home. And I must say,
I gotta agree, European females are quite nasty, plus I like any site where I get
to see different girls than the usual 10-12 American babes who cycle through many
The main downside to Euro Humpers is that it hasn't updated since July 2008. The
site went online September 2007 and stopped adding new content in 08. It currently
contains 21 videos, not bad, but not huge either. However, the upside is that it's
worth the price of admission as part of a bigger network: Porn Pros, with 21+ bonus
covering a wide range of niche sites that you'll be able to access with your membership.
The videos at Euro Humpers, as with others we've reviewed at Porn Pros, usually run
approx. 30 minutes long, so you get a lot of humping for your buck here. They include
a handy update calendar at their Home page and show that 18 of their sites update
weekly or every two weeks, so overall, this network keeps the porn flowing.
The style at Euro Humpers is reality/gonzo, all scenes are guy/girl, with one American
"student" dude doing the fucking and his horny pal shooting camera. There's a fairly
good mix of trashy chicks here, leaning toward nasty little Euro teenies if that's
to your taste, (tiny tittie B-cup, shaved, and freakin hot pigtails!), but there's
also a few curvier, buxom babes too. Most are blonde but you'll see a few brunettes
and a redhead or two. Lots of natural tits which is nice. You can click on the girl's
name and find out her stats and other scenes she's done at Porn Pros. They all have
one name, i.e. Carla, Daria, Martina, etc. Some may be known performers in Europe,
but I didn't recognize any of them, so most are probably newbies to the smut scene.
They're quite sexy girls who know how to deliver the "goods". Whether amateur or
pro, they can compete with any chick in porn. You can use a variety of search tools
to browse models, top rated videos, as well as the webcam/chat feeds at the top of
the page and the navigation is the same for all the sites at Porn Pros. Once you've
been to a few of their sites, you'll know the lay of the land pretty well.
Our two roaming "students' encounter these willing, free-spirited and horny babes
in a variety of places such as bars, bowling alley, shopping, ( even during Easter,
how profane! lol), at school, or just sharing a few beers on a balcony overlooking
the city. After some small talk or brief interview (you'll luv the girl's sexy little
accents and giggles), they get to the action. Most don't speak much English but enough
to know the word "fuck" lol. Many scenes start with the nasty girl doing a tease
and showing of her body, stripping a bit and taking off her clothes in various scenarios
until she's naked. There's some really good looking chicks here, athletic, lean tight
bods and beautiful tits. One girl has a tan, so they don't all look like they're
starved for sunlight! The guy often asks if she likes American cock, and the difference
between American and European girls is the Euro girls "just love the cock". Hmmm,
well, that may be up for debate! But these babes do deliver some hot blowjobs. Must
be something in the water in Prague, that city seems to produce a lot of girls who
know how to pleasure a guy by the time they reach the very legal age of 18.
I previewed several of the videos at Euro Humpers and found them all to be pretty
good. The sex is straightforward pounding action, mish, doggy, and of course those
eager blowjobs and handjobs. I didn't see any anal (using the search engine it didn't
pull up any anal scenes here), so the emphasis is on good ole American/Euro screwing,
the ultimate in cross-cultural studies. Low on conversation, high on "let's get it
on". You may find some scenes spend a little too much time on the "intro", i.e. finding
the girl, walking over to meet her, the usual build up, but you can always skip over
that and cut to the sex. I liked absorbing the grunge feel of the girls and the surrounding
city sights, so just take in the view and whatever strikes your fancy, focus on that.
And hey, for you guys who detest toys in a scene, I didn't see one vibe, dildo or
other artificial device, at least in the scenes I previewed, nor in any of the sample
pics. All natural, all the time. Maybe toys are too expensive in Europe (okay, I
have to defend American porn somehow, right?) but it was nice to see body parts instead
of machinery making the orgasms happen. I would have liked to see somewhat more variety
in the sex - a bit predictable and there's nothing kinky or fetish to somewhat raise
the bar a notch, but in fairness this site isn't targeted at that audience. It really
is more about the girls and their individual style and the American/Euro appreciation!
I sampled three scenes a bit more indepth - Rose, a bustier type with a fraulein
look about her. Not fat by any means, just curvy and able to take a pounding of her
meaty pussy. As with most of the scenes at Euro Humpers, this one starts with a great
blowjob, her riding him, doggy, and facial. And these chicks do hump! She seems to
really get off on it and enjoys that big American cock! Her facial expressions and
sounds are hot. The scene is called "Jenga Blow Job" because they play a game of
Jenga for several minutes before hitting the sheets. I guess you could call it "Strip
Jenga" I found thatopening portion of the vid to be somewhat tedious but entertaining.
Running time: 31 minutes, with 400 Hi-Res pictures and 101 screencaps. The hi-res
are fairly large and quite clear. The screencaps are average quality but also fairly
good and all can be downloaded in zip file. If you're into seeing great blowjobs,
Euro Humpers is the place for you. None of this sloppy drooling stuff, just pleasureable
and expert mouth action. I didn't see any extreme deepthroat action, although there
may be some in other scenes. These girls know how to work it!
Next I looked at "Jenna", she seemed to fit the petite Euro teen that lots of guys
totally dig and find stimulating in the extreme. Entitled, "Puppy Love Blow Job",
it's Easter and Jenna and the guys visit a little shop where they buy whips - not
really whips, some type of Easter decoration I guess - but they're used teasingly
later, a bit of softcore buttwhipping. Jenna wears her hair in pig tails, giggles
a lot and takes that "Made in the USA" cock into her tight hole, after wrapping her
eager lips around it, of course. I liked her authentic look and ability to hump with
the best of 'em. Again, the usual positions - mish, doggy, and facial at the end,
so no surprises in store from that standpoint, but if Jenna is your cup of tea, you'll
definitely enjoy watching her in action. Such a little piece of vixen Euro trash!
She reminded me oddly of a cross between Sarah Jessica Parker and a younger Demi
Moore if that makes sense. Running time: 31 minutes, with 473 hi res pics and 103
screen caps. Each video has this information, along with synopsis, clearly and conveniently
posted next to the video download area under Scene Info. You can also vote for your
favorites and rate the scene.
Finally, I checked out a scene with "Nikki" called "Tiny Euro Teen". The guys meet
this blonde little stunner wearing a denim mini skirt in a bar after taking a local
trolley and walking for quite a distance to meet up with her. The bar is dimly lit
until they go out into the Prague daylight and see what a hottie she is. She's down
to fuck and ready to roll as they take her back to their pad. The scene again starts
with a BJ, and him pounding her in various positions. She doesn't say much, but smiles
and giggles - everything A-Okay with her! She's a cutie and fits the teen slut image
well. Running time: 36 minutes, with 325 hi-res pics and 104 screencaps that track
the video. You really do get a lot of content per video.
Overall, the girls I previewed were true to the "Euro Humper" title - they're hot,
eager and want it bad, with dare I say, a more genuine feel and appearance than some
American pornchicks. Maybe it's the culture and overall acceptance of sex in European
cities, or maybe those bleak Prague winters make having hot sex with an American
stud a dream cum true. It doesn't really matter, all that matters is the pleasure
quotient, which I think you'll find to be quite to your liking here.
Videos can be downloaded in a variety of formats: in streaming, or download the full
video in WMV or MPG HD. In addition, you can download by clip (usually 8 per video),
in streaming or full download in WMV/MPG HD. You can also browse 1-minute clips or
get Video to Go - DVD/CD, iPod, iPhone, PSP or XBox. They do a great job of offering
a variety of options for diverse viewing needs and choices.
As far as video quality, it was okay - it's shot gonzo/reality style so you don't
always get the perfect angle, but that's to be expected from this type of genre/niche.
Don't forget to check out the other bonus elements at this site such as the large
webcam feed area, model search, as well as Porn Pros TV which is their huge DVD collection
of over 6600 DVD's from every major studio. Click on "Sites" and you can see at a
glance the latest updates across the Porn Pros network.
Support is provided by a link at the bottom of the page with live chat and general
membership help and billing information.
For what it is, I think Euro Humpers is an okay site. It's a change of pace from
typical American porn with girls you probably haven't seen elsewhere. I would have
liked more variation in the sex action, i.e. not always starting with a blowjob and
being fairly predictable. But as indicated, it's really the overall setup and feel
that's more important. And these girls do give great head, so I don't think it's
gonna be a big problem for ya! They go all out and since English isn't their first
language, no irritating chattering from them. either! Just a desire to please and
party! Maybe our two "students" ceased updating because they finally graduated and
wrote their thesis: "How I Fucked My Way Through Prague". I bet they got an A+!
Membership: One Day Trial: $1; Monthly: $24.94; 90 Days: $59.97. Join by credit card
for access to over 21+ bonus sites - teen, milf, deepthroat and more at the HUGE
Porn Pros Network!